Film review – The Paperboy (2012)


the paperboyFilm: The Paperboy
Released: 2012
Director: Lee Daniels
Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Nicole Kidman, John Cusack, Zac Efron, David Oyelowo, Macy Gray

Synopsis:
A reporter returns to his Florida hometown to investigate a case involving a death row inmate.

What I thought of it:
At first glance, one might expect this to be something along the lines of A Time to Kill or The Lincoln Lawyer (both of which star McConaughey, by the way, and both of which are excellent), but on watching it, one discovers just how misleading a trailer can be.

I am not accustomed to using foul language in my reviews, but on this occasion I feel it is not only justified, but actually unavoidable. You see, The Paperboy is a steaming pile of horse sh*t!

We have four incredibly popular actors in play here – Cusack, McConaughey, Kidman and Efron, all of whom have proven their acting chops in the past, so this could potentially have been something utterly sublime. Instead we are presented with something that resembles the muck you might scrape off your boot in disgust after a visit to a farm filled with incontinent equines.

It. Is. Awful. Just dire. I watched the whole thing and cannot recall one single good thing about it. All of the characters are repulsive and without any redeeming qualities at all; the plot is garbage; and the whole thing feels like amateur hour starring the most talentless degenerates the director could find at 2am outside the local gin joint, as half the time you can barely understand what anyone is mumbling.

Avoid at all costs, because if you sit through this drivel, there’s a good chance your brain might crawl out of your nose, dragging your spinal cord behind it, and strangle you in retribution for subjecting it to such dross. I barely escaped such an attempt from my own cerebral matter last night.

Rating: Like a Star @ heaven
Really, don’t watch it, especially if you’re a fan of any of the actors involved – it will make you love them a little less and perhaps tarnish them irredeemably to the point that you cannot stand to watch them in any other films they make, which would be a shame, because they are so badly wasted here.

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